Never title something that doesn't yet exist. Someone suggested this about babies, too, and I think it's what i'm going to do.

The word 'I' is inducing a lot of guilt.

I've been reading a blog. She's like me in all the ways that I am not. She's apparently in a mess, but I would give something to be in the same mess. She's screwed up in all the ways that I naively envy.

The tendency to idolize is creeping up again. It never lasts for long, because I've learned, but only superficially. I hope it happens soon. I'm waiting for something.

What is it that God wants? [as it were]

And how do I understand people? And what qualifies as lying to myself? If I don't know what's really true, can I ever be honest?

I'm dragging. In every way. Emotionally, spiritually, physically, hygienically, figuratively, literally..

Did I stop caring about people?

I need to vote. And stop getting new clothes. And figure out what's wrong.